Boys don’t cry


the gleaming drops

flowing around the hazel look

fight their way to the rim of the lashes

pushed back by a lightning of the clenched teeth.

another hard blow slides on left cheek

hot stingy sensation strikes the whole face

he wants to scream out loud

but a soft whisper brushes his mind

“Boys don’t cry, my baby. Hold on, just one more day.”

he makes no sound, only the burning eyes howl

another bad day that only he and his mother understand.




Colorful hairs
Pretty faces
Tensed looks
Confident smiles
Worries stare
The suits
The good smell
And I find myself
trapped in a box of
To be in Today
To be surprised with the unexpected flaws or deeds
To consume the air they are freely given
I wish I had not jumped into this box at first place
I could have taken the stairs instead
I feel my good vibe evaporates

My Easter

Jesus did what He said. He finished His mission without second thought. He loves me that much to die at the cross, to endure an excruciating torture a human body could ever take.. And He promises me He will prepare a room for me in His Father’s Kingdom that where He is, I will also be with Him. And never, ever, He leaves me alone as an orphan.

A little miracle

I believe in Angels. I believe that sometimes God sends one of His Guardian Angels to help us in any way, whether we realize it or not.
Today I experienced a heartfelt of thankfulness to what God did, poking me , to remind me that He protects .

Rain poured down since early morning so I told my mother to stay home, take rest and I would go to church by myself.
Later when I had left, she changed and went to church. She is 82 years old and has started to have early stage of dementia. I have reminded her many times to not going out by herself as we don’t know if she is going to suddenly forget her way back home.

As usual I switched my mobile on silence mode when I got at the church, but few minutes later when the mass began, I took my mobile and saw some missed calls from a neighbor. There must be something wrong at home , either with my father or mother. I rushed out to the hall and called her back. My neighbor told me that my mother had left saying she was going to church. They tried to go after her but she had gone already, and nobody around the street saw her take a taxi or a local public transport ( angkot ; minibus used as local public transport around the area ).
I was a bit panic . She never took angkot to go to church and I was not sure she could make it crossing the busy intersection near the church, to make it worse, the church is not on angkot’s route.
I was making the call near the food stall in the hall where some women from the church community selling food and cakes on Sunday during the mass. One of the ladies overheard my phone call and said to me , ” I saw your mother went up to the main hall. We have told her that we saw you in here but she said she wanted to sit at the elder’s pew.”
I was so relieved and thanked the lady. I told them briefly of what had happened and they told me to understand that sometimes old people get stubborn.

When later I met my mother, I asked her how she got there. She told me she took the angkot. I said ” Oh gosh, you crossed the traffic light ? It’ s a chaos over there.”
She replied , ” No, I didn’t. The angkot stopped right in front of the church gate.”
I said no way. This is not their local route.
She said that’s what really happened and even the driver refused to take  the fare from her.
I asked her how many people were in the angkot. She replied, “Just me and him.”
I looked up at the cross on the altar and silently whispered a thank you to God.
I said to  my mother, ” You know, Mom. An angel took you here.”

Potato Rolls

I always love to bake bread. I love the smell when it comes out from the oven, the smell that  washes down all the waiting time to see it rise, the messy hands of kneading. After all I never mind them all and just love to make bread.

This is my first time making it , I usually make plain bread . I think I have fallen in love with this kind. Sweet, fluffy, chewy…hmmm just good.

potato bread5.jpg

You can see its beautiful and tempting looks, right ? Or I just love to say it hehehe.

potato bread7.jpg

Let’s see the recipe.

Ingredients :

2 medium potato, boiled and mashed

2 eggs

6 tablespoons of granulated sugar

115 g butter and more for brushing

1/2 cup warm milk

11 g dry yeast

4 or more cups of all-purpose-flour

Get start :

Proof the dry yeast with a tablespoon of warm water ( I usually do this in the first step of making a bread )

With a wooden spoon, mix the mashed potato, the proofing yeast, 2 cups of flour, the milk, 4 tablespoons of sugar  and the eggs till you get a sticky and shaggy dough. Put it aside, cover with plastic wrap or tablecloth till the dough doubles in volume. I let it for about  1 and a half hour.

Cream the butter with the remaining sugar for about 3 minutes. Pour into the dough and add the remaining flour. Knead the dough till you get a still-a bit-sticky and smooth dough. Don’t worry about it gets stick on your fingers. When you make the balls of the dough, put some flour on the fingers and you can easily shape the dough into balls. I don’t use any measurement, just pulls put some dough and shape it and put it into the buttered round pan. I still have some dough and just make a ribbon shape bread ( forget to take the picture of it )

Bake it for about 30-35 minutes. My oven is at 190 C max so that’s the highest heat I can use. If the top browns too quickly, cover it with aluminium foil and continue to bake. I love my bread to have some darkest and bit crispy side and bottom.

Brush the top with melted butter soon as you take the bread out from the oven.