Deadly chilling air pricked the skin,
killed the soft warm heat of the sun that was trying to rush its light over the sky.
There were still thousand of people gathered on the courtyard,
walled by the fearful soldiers , preying with a rotten hatred to every one of us.
When You came out, bare back with only a piece of dirty cloth wrapping Your waist , walked to the scouring place. Not a word came out Your mouth. You entered the place like a lamb being brought to slaughterhouse.
Ear-splitting sound blended with heartbreaking cry filled the air.
I closed my eyes when a soldier swung the whip and the sound of Your ripping skin pierced my ears.
Fresh blood covered Your whole body.
When Your shrieking groan burnt the chilling morning air, clothed the sky with a red blood atmosphere, I opened my eyes.
Your face and figure slashed my sight.
Your beautiful face that I once saw laughing with the children You blessed, the face that taught people on the Mount with a loving voice…
Your graceful body that danced with the bride in Cana , shielded the adulterous woman from stoning…
Your strong hands with delicate skin that sculptured tables with Joseph, fed the five thousand people with only two fish and five loaves…
No one could describe the beauty of the person in my sight right now.
I could not glimpse the smiling eyes, the striking golden hair.
Your whole body was like a surreal paint on canvas, only a broken figure colored with bloody red and black.
Where was the good looking human being whom cheered as a King by people and me, a while ago ?
Some people who stood there were stunned, covered their faces with both hands and silently cried, unbearable to look at You as a human.
Some looked at You with victorious smile, laughed, mocked You with abusive words.
I was silent. I was there…
The road to be travelled was small, curved , dusty and half covered by sharp gravels.
A crowd had piled along the road.
The mutes who now spoke, spitting on You
They who once worshipped You, now yelling and scolding
They who once leprosy and hungry , now healthy and plump , were trying to pull Your robe but the soldiers warded them off with their spear.
A thunder yelling from the Roman soldiers and people’s scolding buzzing around, coagulated into dust in the air, covered the whole sky with an oppressive feeling that burnt the crying souls , who mourned over the journey You had to endure.
The cross on Your shoulder weighed and pulled down Your weak body.
You fell for the second time.
A hard kick on Your knee could not make You stand right away.
You stayed on the dusty ground for a second.
And before the sharp blow touched Your naked arm, You staggeringly stood.
A few women wailed a heartbreaking cry.
My heart bled, my voice caught in my throat.
You looked toward us, extended a hand , blessed each of us.
With a low voice that sounded like soft breeze brushed the sweating faces, You comforted us.
You who should be comforted, gave the strength to us.
The human strength captured Your weaken body.
A soldier grabbed a man to help You carrying the cross, the man said his name ; Simon from Cyrene.
His muscular body took over the weigh off Your shoulder.
With a bloody and disfigured face, You whispered a thank you.
There was joy sparkled on Simon’s face.
The end of Your journey was almost over
I was there…
A feeling of horror filled the Calvary.
Two crosses already hung.
One by one , people drew a distance from where You were
Only Your mother, Mary and few disciples came as close as the borderline drawn by the soldiers.
And the time came. A moment that wrenched every heart, ripped the soul, separated the bone from the flesh, cut every inch of the skin from the nerve, washed down every single stinky dust from every breath.
The blood that covered Your beautiful face and body had dried out.
Left only the purple black lumps on your humanity.
You were bare naked. The soldiers had divided Your robe between them. All things You owned had been ripped off from You. Like dust, the only thing left was Your breath.
And for the final torture, they awarded You with a pain that killed all Your human sense. A rusty nail tore Your vein, broke the bone in Your hands and feet. There was no sound.
You opened Your mouth, bowed and whispered to the Father who had turned His face away from You.
You said a prayer, cleansed every soul from the sucking mud and devil’s sting who built its kingdom in every anger, worries, disappointment, envy, greed for earthy desire, despair, bitterness…
The sky turned black, the earth cracked like furious beasts from every corner of the earth, tore the hearing nerves.
Everyone ran for a shelter. But there was no safe place from the sting of the earth and heaven’s rage.
The living souls were killed. The dead souls were arisen.
I was there.
The cry of fear vanished into the sound of the rumbling sky and crashing earth. Every soul trembled, cried out for forgiveness.
You looked onto the sky, Your scream conquered the anger of heaven and earth ; “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani…”
…surrendered Your soul, took off Your humanity…took the last breath…brought back to the Father every fractured soul trapped in sin…
“It is finished…”
The air froze.
Nothing made a sound.
The earth was silent. The sky was crying. Heaven was mourning.
The holy fragrance spelled from Your drooping body, cleansed every soul on earth.
I was there…